This labor and birth was SO much harder than I expected

April 5th, 2011 § 0 comments § permalink

It’s hard for the entire birth team (mom, dad, midwives, doula) when the labor and birth become unexpectedly difficult, or complicated, or long.

No one likes it.

If we could choose, most of us would make all labors 4-6 hours long, with a fairly short pushing time, and a tear-free delivery. Baby pinks up nicely right away, and calmly (but not too calmly!) transitions to breathing and suckling, and doing all the things that normal healthy babies do on earth. Mother would feel a happy after-labor glow, be delighted and totally in love with her baby, bond and nurse very successfully, and without much difficulty…and they all live happily ever after.

Often, things do go fabulously well, especially when mothers are well-informed, well-prepared, and well-nourished. 🙂

But life is not always that smooth—or simple.

So when a labor or birth goes differently, or MUCH differently than a mother was expecting, even if she did what she needed to do, and successfully birthed her baby, it can cause feelings of disappointment. A mother may feel like she failed because she didn’t labor how she thought she should have.

Leslie Spradlin has written a beautiful blog post about “Healing from the Birth That Should’ve Been“. Discover ways to encourage, support, and build up a mother after her birth, or how to get a new perspective on your own [difficult] birth.